


Ownership Issues

by hopeassassin



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-02
Updated: 2013-04-02
Packaged: 2017-12-07 06:29:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/745369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeassassin/pseuds/hopeassassin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's kind of funny, really, human relationships. Even if they seem strong and sturdy, all it takes sometimes is one little misunderstanding, one petty fight dragged out just a bit too long, for everything to start coming down like a house of cards.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ownership Issues

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dwindlingflame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dwindlingflame/gifts).



> Prompt: Angst; they have a big fight and “break up” and then get back together.

It’s been a while since she’d last felt so annoyed with anyone.

 

She was frequently irked by various things—being the manager of a _men’s_ basketball team of _high school boys_ tended to do that to a person—and being one Aomine Daiki’s girlfriend for more than three months now had done wonders to help steel her nerves some—honestly, sometimes she could _swear_ he lived for the sole purpose of testing her patience—so being annoyed wasn’t news for Satsuki at all.

 

Being _this pissed_ , though—it was news.

 

It was bad news, in fact. And she had made _damn sure_ that her dumbass of a boyfriend found out _exactly_ how bad the news really was.

 

Seriously, though, the whole possessive attitude he had been giving her for a while now—that got old really fast, and she couldn’t believe it took her having to actually _scream_ at him about it for the idiot to actually realize what he was doing wrong.

 

Some nerve he had, acting like she was some kind of object that he possessed, telling her what she could and could not do, whom she could and could not speak to. He was her lover, not her owner! She didn’t need his _permission_ to do anything!

 

What annoyed her even more than how he behaved, was that he acted as though it was entirely natural for him to be this way with her.

 

She had always known that he’s a bit of a moron, and somewhat of a jerk, but she really had liked to believe that at least when it came to her, he could tone it down a little bit.

 

How naïve of her.

 

It wasn’t like she didn’t love him—don’t take her wrong. It was just that… sometimes, it was hard to focus on the good things when the person next to you can’t seem to let go of little details that just ruin your mood.

 

How could she enjoy how great of a time they’re having on their date at the arcade if at every moment that he so much as sees another person looking in her general direction, he makes sure to throw an arm around her shoulders and press her against his side so snugly that he made walking side by side trying and awkward?

 

How was she supposed to have fun discussing the movie they’d just seen together in the theatre if he kept glaring daggers at the three boys in the neighbouring booth who seemed to be eyeing her back in a way he didn’t approve of?

 

How was she supposed to help him study in the library if he was so busy leaning against her so closely as a precaution against all the boys around them who were staring at them—so busy he was doing such nonsense that he completely ignored everything she said to him?

 

What was up with that?

 

She believed that only people with low self-esteem would resort to those kinds of tactics in these situations. At least, that’s how she saw it. Men were dumb animals by nature, she believed, so when they felt others trying to invade on their turf, they got defensive and territorial: so they did stupid shit like the stunts Daiki pulled, whenever someone as much as _thinks_ of looking her way.

 

But Dai-chan didn’t have any doubts about his capability or his masculinity. She had seen as much in his entire countenance, no matter when, where or why. In first year of high school, actually, he had been so confident that he had become the very epitome of arrogance.

 

So, if he wasn’t venting his self-esteem issues, what was the deal with the whole possessiveness thing?

 

Frankly, Satsuki couldn’t understand. What was worse, she couldn’t bring herself to accept it, on any level. Whenever she had brought the topic up with Daiki, he always grumbled something—usually something retarded—and told her to come off it, refusing to be led into any discussion on the matter.

 

So far, she had closed her eyes to that and let it slide.

 

However, the more she repressed the issue, the more her patience was slipping.

 

And, little she knew, her tolerance for the matter was already reaching its end.

 

* * *

 

It happened several days later.

 

She arrived early to their meeting spot for the date they’d arranged to have. Neither of them really knew how to get to the Aquarium—it was a new thing in their city—so she had taken the spare time she had before Dai-chan arrived to ask someone for directions.

 

As chance would have it, the first passer-by who could give her any sort of sensible information on which trains they had to take in order to arrive at the Aquarium on time was a young man—probably a college student from the looks of his attire—who was very kind in taking the time to stop and explain to her in careful detail how she could get where she needed to.

 

And, of course, before he was finished talking to her, Daiki arrived.

 

And, _of course_ , what did he do when he showed up, a bit late for their agreement? _Of course_ , he misunderstood the whole situation.

 

 _Thought she was getting hit on by a stranger_.

 

When he saw them talking, he walked over to them, slinking an arm not at all covertly around her shoulders, pulling her against his chest as he leant his head down over her shoulder to glare ill-temperedly at the guy giving her directions.

 

While the action made Satsuki roll her eyes in exasperation (and barely contain the urge of stomping her foot atop his to alleviate some of that), it seemed that his power display worked well at intimidating the pink-haired girl’s interlocutor. Even though the guy was obviously older than both of them, he was rather scrawny in build when comparing with the Touou ace.

 

Plus, Dai-chan had a rather mean-looking face when he wanted to.

 

And as if that circus wasn’t enough, he had the _gall_ to make a comment as well!

 

“What are you talking to my girl about?” When the guy simply stared at him, unsure how to reply, Daiki’s brows narrowed over his eyes. “Cat got your tongue? Speak up.”

 

At this—and the irate tone he used to say it—her misfortunate companion started sputtering for an excuse—and explanation for what was happening. Daiki wasn’t convinced in the least.

 

“Walk away, guy,” he told him levelly, in a voice that promised pain in the smaller man’s future should he decide not to heed the warning. “Get away from her now and do it with your dignity intact, or it will turn into an ugly scene and dignity will be the last thing on your mind.”

 

Just before the college student could scurry off—scared stiff—Satsuki turned around and smacked her boyfriend hard over his chest. He made an outraged expression as he looked down at her.

 

“Ow! What did you do that for?!”

 

“Are you out of your _mind_?” she all but screeched, shaking her head in disbelief at him. “He wasn’t hitting on me! _I_ was the one who started talking to _him_. I was asking him for directions, since you’re as unreliable as always, and you have no idea where you’re taking me!”

 

That seemed to ring some bells. Instead of looking repentant, though, Daiki simply shrugged his shoulders and put his hands in his jeans pockets.

 

“Oh.”

 

It was his only commentary on the matter. No ‘I’m sorry’ followed it, in any shape or form. No ‘I was wrong, my bad’. _Nothing_ of the sort. Just ‘Oh’.

 

 _Oh_? _Really_?

 

And that was the proverbial last straw.

 

Weeks upon weeks of pent up frustration came pouring out in vocal form. All her thoughts, her annoyance, her displeasure started just overflowing before she could stop it.

 

And the more she said, the uglier it got.

 

What was worse was that her taking on the offensive forced Daiki—Daiki, who, despite his rather forceful position as a power forward on the team and his streak for always getting what he wanted despite the means needed to achieve it, was usually docile in his daily life—to start getting defensive and equally as worked up as she was.

 

It escalated to the point they started saying things they didn’t mean—hurtful things. Half-truths, twisted until they were barely recognizable, spoken for the sole purpose of dealing damage.

 

And even though the argument started getting petty and infantile, Satsuki refused to let it slide this time. She was sick of being treated in this way—a way she had done nothing to deserve—and she wouldn’t stand for allowing him to oversee this matter yet again.

 

She had decided that it was either her way or the highway, so when she saw he was refusing to listen, she did the same.

 

She ended up getting too caught up in the heat of the moment, and placing too much importance on something she would otherwise leave be.

 

So, somehow, instead of talking the issue out together, she ended up telling him she wanted a break.

 

A break from the petty fights and infantile arguments, a break from them – a break from _him_.

 

The very moment it rolled off her tongue, she regretted it. The wounded look that crossed his face made a stab of guilt spear her chest momentarily. However, fuelled by her pride and stubbornness stirred by their earlier fight she refused to back down—like she should have.  Instead, she decided to stand on principle—no matter how stupid it could seem to an outside onlooker.

 

That day they met downtown in order to go see the new Aquarium, yet they never got around to visit it. Their plan was scrapped in favour of stomping off in opposite directions, refusing to speak another word to one another, and both of them opting to go do some stress relief on their own.

 

That day, they went home separately: both literally and figuratively.

 

* * *

 

When Satsuki arrived home that evening, she was at least content in knowing she had made the right decision. Putting up with something that displeased her this much was ridiculous, so she’d been right in telling him what she disliked in their current set up.

 

When she said she wanted take a break from their relationship, she imagined that they would be able to spend some time apart—emotionally and spatially—in order to better sort their feelings on the matter.

 

She realized the flaw of her plan only after she kept running into him everywhere. And it wasn’t all that surprising either: he was on the basketball team she was the (responsible) manager to, he was her classmate and her neighbour.

 

He was part of almost every aspect of her life, and regardless whether she liked it or not, it was virtually impossible to avoid him when she felt like she needed some space.

 

And this simple little fact threw such huge spanners into her brilliant plan that it was almost ridiculous.

 

For the entire duration of the week after their heated argument, having to see his sour expression everywhere—on the train ride to school, while he walked around the classroom, as he dribbled across the court—made putting things into any kind of perspective absolutely impossible.

 

What was worse, after his initial indignation had worn off, he made a multitude of attempts to talk to her. Some of those were more forceful than others, but she’d be damned if she took any of that. He could be twice her size and ten times stronger than her physically, but there was no way in hell he could bend her will simply because of that.

 

The more forward he got in trying to get her to listen, the more petulantly adamant she got in avoiding him. Whenever he approached her, saying that they needed to talk, she always made up some nonsense excuse that she had to go, or that she was busy, or god knew what.

 

She knew it was stupid or childish, but with the way his brows furrowed after she said those things, she kept getting reminded just _why_ they were even fighting in the first place.

 

And that made it all the more impossible to let go of the issue.

 

* * *

 

Being in a fight with Dai-chan for more than a few days brought an odd feeling with it.

 

They had known each other forever before they started dating, and that gave their current relationship a lot of background and past experience to fall back on in various senses.

 

One of those being the fact that they rarely ever fought so seriously that it would take them more than three to five days max to sort out whatever was wrong between them.

 

Miscommunication had been a common thing in a bond as unusual as theirs—two teens of opposite genders in a friendship almost as long as their chronological age who are not on romantic terms with one another. So it was usual for them not to see eye to eye on some topics at times.

 

Taking part in such a ferocious, needlessly stubborn argument, however, was not something they were used to.

 

Thus, Satsuki felt restless. She was ill at ease, and being ill at ease stirred all her feelings in the worst kinds of ways.

 

The longer it dragged out, the more convinced she was becoming that starting this relationship had been a mistake to begin with. Worse still, she couldn’t remember how exactly it was that they went from being friends to being something _more_.

_Were_ they more?

 

She couldn’t even remember the last time he had been nice to her.

 

She couldn’t remember the last time he had held her hand just for the sake of touching her.

 

When was the last time they had kissed?

 

The more she dwelled on such thoughts, the worse she felt. And yet the mere notion of going to Daiki about this made her want to hurt something—because she would not be the one to wave the white flag, not this time.

 

She wasn’t letting him off the hook this easily.

 

Little she realized was that the more she condemned him, the faster she was dooming whatever they already had.

 

* * *

 

By the second week, Daiki’s perpetual foul mood started turning into a topic of conversation for the rumour mill.

 

Not to mention that the fact Satsuki—who had always been seen at his side before—always made sure to steer clear out of his way, regardless of his attempts to change the fact.

 

Even someone as short-sighted socially as Dai-chan noticed that, the more he insisted on trying to get her to listen, the more she distanced herself from him.

 

So, little by little, he stopped trying. Being Aomine Daiki, it wasn’t like he gave up on the cause—she wasn’t even sure “giving up” was part of his vocabulary, or that he knew what doing that meant—but he stopped being so forward in his advances.

 

The strangeness of their situation was starting to make an impression on their classmates and teammates, though. The tension could almost be sliced through with a knife as soon as they were both in the same premise. People couldn’t really be blamed for starting to talk when it came to something as _unnatural_ as that situation.

 

“They’ve been having this huge fight for over a week now,” a hushed voice whispers while leaning against a curious ear.

 

“There’s serious trouble in heaven, it seems,” another says with a giggle.

 

“Aomine and Momoi were inseparable before, but now they barely even speak a word to one another,” a third says conspiratorially in a low tone.

 

“Married couple fight,” a different one comments smugly.

 

He’d been hearing whispers like that following him wherever he went for the whole week already. At first, it had annoyed him to no end. But, relying on his perfect talent of being able to tune just about anything out, Daiki opted for letting idiots say whatever they wanted—their opinions didn’t matter to him to begin with.

 

There was only _one_ thing he wouldn’t live down, though.

 

And a girl decided to say it during lunch break on the 16th day of his wordless fight with Satsuki.

 

“Momoi-san and Aomine sure have been on bad terms lately,” one girl told to the other two in hushed whispers while throwing pointed looks at his back while he balanced his weight on the hind legs of his chair while staring into space.

 

“I heard that they’re having some really big fight over something,” the second girl whispers while taking a bite out of her boxed lunch.

 

“I thought they were going out and that everything was fine for them. They made such an adorable couple,” the first one said while popping an octopus-shaped wiener in her mouth.

 

“It looks to me more like they’ve already broken up,” the last one interjected.

 

And that was around the time when Daiki’s patience snapped so loudly that it almost made a corporeal sound.

 

He let the chair slam down to its proper position. He stomped his feet to the floor noisily, smacking his hands palm-first into the desk, and the loudness of the sounds was such that he effectively startled the gossiping girls.

 

He rose up to his impressive almost two meters height, glaring bloody murder at the people who had been whispering amongst each other just a few seconds ago.

 

“Next time at least have the decency to _see_ my back before you start talking behind it,” he hissed out at them, his voice dripping with venom.

 

He stormed out of the classroom after that, his seething frame followed by the eyes of all his classmates still in the room—a certain pink-haired manager included—and he didn’t return until classes were over for the day.

 

* * *

 

The moment Daiki started actively avoiding her as well, frankly, Satsuki felt like she could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

 

After all, getting some space between them had been what she was going for.

 

It definitely helped that Dai-chan wasn’t beyond playing hooky in school just because he didn’t feel like going to classes. He already had a long history of skipping basketball practice, so it wasn’t like it was anything new when he stopped showing up for it. Skipping classes and going off to play wherever also meant that the times at which they returned home never coincided, which was quite the godsend—she felt like she would break something if she had to suffer through another awkward forty minute silence on the way from the school train station to their houses.

 

His avoidance of all aspects of his life that included her in any way started being inconvenient only when the Inter-high qualifications rolled around and he still refused to show his face to any of his teammates or manager.

 

It started getting really bothersome when he missed the whole first bracket of the matches of the Inter-high. Granted, their opponents were not much of a challenge for the team even without him—Touou was still using its strategy of assembling aces from all over the country—but his absence was hard to miss in this kind of set up.

 

“What the hell did you _do_ to get him this pissed off, Momoi?!” Wakamatsu demanded when he sat down on the bench in the short break between the third and fourth quarter of their final qualification match.

 

His question made Satsuki throw him a mean look before huffing and turning her head away from him.

 

And even though she liked to pretend like she was the only victim there, the more time Daiki spent sleeping on his desk or being altogether gone in school, never showing up to practice or to play, the more she started feeling guilty and as though she crossed some kind of line.

 

However, the situation reached its climax when, even after practically the whole team spent an entire afternoon calling his cell phone to see where he was and if he was coming to Touou’s first Inter-high match, he never picked up. After a while, instead of ringing, it started going straight to voicemail.

 

This was why Touou played their first Inter-high match without their ace.

 

Although he had a very short fuse, and he relied a bit too heavily on using yelling and rubbing people’s shortcomings in their faces as a means of motivation, Wakamatsu was a good captain to his team. So even without Daiki, Touou was still a force to be reckoned with.

 

There was only a minute of the match left, and Touou was leading with (barely) fifteen points difference. It had been a very trying competition for the first place, but in basketball, there were no sudden turnabouts, so when the counter on the board started counting backwards from sixty, Satsuki could finally allow herself a sigh of relief and to let her gaze wander away from the intense match on the court.

 

And as her gaze went towards the audience, she recognized a familiar silhouette outlined by the door that was one of the exits to the gym.

 

Her heart clenched in her chest when she noticed the cold look in his eyes as he regarded the players on the court. She had only seen him wear such an expression once before—when he found out that Tetsu-kun had left without as much as breathing a word of goodbye.

 

As she watched him turn on a heel and march out of the gym with an air of complete indifference, she realized that she may have pushed him too far this time.

 

* * *

 

When she got home that night after the first Inter-high match, the first thing she did was open the curtains to her window—they were overlooking from her house’s backyard towards the Aomine house, and if she turned her head just like that, she could even peek into Daiki’s room – a fact that the two had used and abused greatly in their childhood.

 

Now, as she opened the curtains to look into Daiki’s room, all Satsuki could see was the complete darkness his room was plunged into. She felt her heart constrict in her chest, but didn’t let that bother her. She quickly changed out into something more comfy before going to call the Aomines from her house phone.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, dear. Daiki said that he’s sleeping over at a friend’s tonight—didn’t he tell you?” the pleasant voice of Dai-chan’s mom told her good-naturedly from the other end of the line.

 

A sinking feeling settled into the pit of Satsuki’s stomach at the information. No, he didn’t tell her. He didn’t tell her anything anymore. And she had only herself to blame for that, which was even worse.

 

Shaking off the discomfort, Satsuki thanked the woman—practically a second mother to her—and bid her goodbyes before hanging up.

 

That night, she went to sleep feeling worse than she had in a long while. It was also the first time since this whole fiasco started when she actually considered that she may have allowed this situation to go a bit further than was absolutely necessary.

 

The following day found Satsuki clapping her palms to her cheeks as she stared at herself in the mirror. She needed to get it together and finally corner Dai-chan so they could work out their issues.

 

Thinking about it was much easier than actually doing it, though. Especially when he didn’t come to morning classes at all.

 

During the lunch break, she set out on a decisive quest to find him.

 

Just as she was about to give up, yielding to the crushing realization that he hadn’t come to school again today, she was met with a familiar back when she opened the door to the school rooftop.

 

Surely enough, there he was, hunched over the railing, sipping on a carton of orange juice from the first floor vending machine, Dai-chan was staring down expressionlessly at the students wandering around the schoolyard during lunch.

 

The sense of relief that flooded her system evaporated faster than she was comfortable to admit when she realized she had no idea what to say to him now that she had finally found him.

 

He didn’t seem to hear her having arrived, though, so that was good. It gave her time to consider her options before she stepped over to him.

 

It was the oddest feeling in the world, really. It felt like she hadn’t talked to him in months, when it had only been a few days ago when they’d last spoken. It felt like she hadn’t seen him in forever, when it was just the other day when she had been looking at his body draped over the school desk as he slept the math class away.

 

She swallowed thickly and steeled her nerves. She closed the door and made her way over to the railing of the school roof.

 

She put her hands on the horizontal iron bar, not yet daring to chance a look at his face. She looked down at the students underneath, more envious than ever of their carefreeness.

 

“Hi,” she started lamely, and cringed at herself for it.

 

Seconds passed and turned into minutes and he didn’t even throw as much as a single glance her way. So, she tried again.

 

“So that’s where you were—I’ve been looking all over for you.”

 

It was funny, really—the feeling being ignored by him begot in her. It was like her chest was being held in a white-hot vice-like grip while at the same time freezing cold water was splashed over her entire being.

 

“I, uh…” she began uncertainly, her earlier bravado all but gone. “I was looking for you because I think we should talk.”

 

He didn’t even _look_ at her. For all she knew, he didn’t even have any idea she was standing next to him, her arm almost touching his where their elbows were pressed together on the railing. The only thing he did do was slowly slurp on his juice through the tiny straw of the tiny box that got lost in the grip of his much larger hand.

 

He was ignoring her. It was juvenile, and annoying, but what was worse was that she had deserved it. What was even worse than that was the realization that this was how she had been acting towards him for more than two weeks while he had been the one trying to make amends—only to have her blow him off and disappear before anything constructive could take place.

 

Her hand started to shake on the metal bar she was holding on to when she saw the past few weeks from a different perspective. As if she wasn’t already feeling bad enough…

 

“Daiki, _please_?” Her voice cracked with emotion.

 

And still he refused to acknowledge her.

 

Only when the straw started sucking in air as he finished his juice box did he finally sigh and let his gaze wander to her.

 

The look in his eyes was full of scorn and disdain. It scorched her.

 

“Please what? I thought you wanted to take a break from this relationship—oops, no, my bad: a break from _me_. What – is the break over now?”

 

Her hand on the bar clenched tightly onto the metal cylinder in hopes of hiding the tremble in her limb from him by doing so. She clutched onto the railing until her knuckles were white.

 

“You’re mad, I understand that. You have every right to be mad at me—I took this too far. And that’s why I’m here—I want to apologize.” She gave herself a mental pat on the back for managing to say it all without stumbling over her words or letting her voice crack.

 

When she decided to risk a glance in Daiki’s direction, though, her blood ran cold. The expression on his face—it was inexplicable. She had never seen such an emotion—more like a complex mix of emotions—seize his features before.

 

“Oh, I have her highness’ permission to be mad—goody. I was so worried I was out of line here.” The barely contained rage veiled with thick sarcasm almost made Satsuki take a step back in precaution.

 

“I didn’t mean for it to sound like that—I’m sorry,” she said, preparing for this to be one of her many apologies to come.

 

What she was not prepared for, though, was Daiki’s reaction to her attempt at placating.

 

“Didn’t mean for it to sound like _what_? Like you’re condescending me? Oh, please, by all means—go ahead. It won’t be the first, nor the last time.”

 

Her eyes widened at his comment.

 

“W-what are you talking about?”

 

The intensity of the glare he awarded her with was so great that she could only be grateful that looks could not kill.

 

“You know what? I am so fucking _sick_ of this dumb charade. I can’t deal with this crap anymore. You come to me, bitching what a bastard I am for treating you this way or that, waving around your self-righteous opinions as though you are entitled to judge others. All awesome and perfect on your high fucking horse. It’s fucking hilarious that you go around, acting as if you’re some kind of saint, when actually you’re just as full of shit as I am.”

 

Even though she had come to this rooftop with the intention of being placid and negotiating, his crude language and phrasing made her bristle.

 

“ _Excuse me_?” she demanded loudly, outraged.

 

“You heard me,” he continued, just having started. “You spew all that crap about trust and treating others right when you can’t have the fucking decency to take your own damn advice and come to me to say you have a fucking problem with me.”

 

He stared her down so vehemently that she couldn’t help the pang of guilt his words begot.

 

“What’s worse than you being a fucking coward, though, is that instead of recognizing it, you decide to go ahead and be condescending about it.”

 

A strangled sound of surprise tore from her throat at that accusation.

 

“Oh, don’t go acting dumb on me now. You know exactly what I’m talking about,” he sneered.

 

“How in the world am I supposed to know what kind of nonsense you came up with while just getting out at the wrong side of the bed?!” she threw back at him in a high pitch tone.

 

“ _Please_. I know that you are under the impression that I’m a complete idiot—and maybe I am—hey, I’m the guy who thought that problems in relationships are supposed to be sorted out by both parties, not avoided and ignored until they can no longer even be subject to debate—but hey, what do I know, right? I’m just an idiot whose only merit is being able to play some basketball. You might think that I’m a moron but I ain’t so stupid as to oversee how instead of facing up to your own insecurities, you take one look at me, with all my faults—because, _yes,_ I am not beyond admitting that I have flaws—many of them in fact—you take _one_ look at me, single out one thing that you just can’t stand about me and you see the easy way out, shifting the blame to me – the convenient scapegoat.”

 

It occurred to Satsuki that this was the first time she was hearing Daiki talk so much in so little time. What was even more shocking—about his own emotional world.

 

That thought stayed in her head for only a fleeting moment, though, because a myriad others flooded her garbled mind right afterwards. His tirade made her more and more apprehensive the more he spoke.

 

And he wasn’t even close to being done yet.

 

“Oh, yes, _Dai-chan_ , who’s always been unreliable. _Dai-chan_ , who’s always been a bit of a jerk. _Dai-chan_ , who can never seem to do anything right unless you keep a good close eye on him.”

 

Every mockingly sweet-spoken sarcastic sentence cut deeper and deeper into her, because, even if she wouldn’t admit it aloud to anyone, part of every single one of those rang just a bit true with a tiny, tiny part of her.  

 

“How _easy_ it is just saying that it’s _Dai-chan’s_ fault that this isn’t going how we want it to—so much easier than having to deal with the truth of the matter. So much faster, easier and convenient—let’s do that!” he said in a tone so saccharine, his rage so ill-kept that she couldn’t help swallowing dryly.

 

The hand that had been clutching to the juice box balled into a tight fist, crushing the carton beneath vice-like fingers.

 

“It’s so much better saying that _Dai-chan_ is too disagreeable, too uncooperative, to make something this complex work. It’s so much easier than having to face the ugly truth that this whole relationship was just plan B.”

 

A look of pure horror stole across her face at his words. He started nodding insistently as he looked at her, eyes accusatory and sharp.

 

“Yeah, Satsuki—I’m stupid, but I’m not _that_ stupid. I get that I’m not what you want, but you decided to settle for less when your initial plan showed no signs of reaping any fruit.”

 

His expression contorted into one that held so much bitterness and hurt that she felt her heart breaking into thousands of pieces in her chest.

 

“I’m not Tetsu, Satsuki. I can’t be Tetsu for you, and I don’t even _want_ to be him. I’m just me—same old, flawed, less-than-perfect me. I’m just a guy. I don’t get how you think, because I can’t read your damn mind. I don’t get how you feel, because I ain’t a fucking sidekick. If you don’t tell me how you feel about something, I’ll assume that everything is fine and move on. I’m just the guy you decided you could settle for, when you decided that you won’t be able to get your way with the one you would have rather had.”

 

Her heart was hammering so hard in her ribcage that she could swear she would start to overheat very soon. She could barely hear him talk over the sound of the pulse in her ears.

 

“And that’s fucking insulting, but since I’m an idiot—as you know—I thought that as long as you were willing to give this a chance, I’d take what you’re willing to give. I’d take a shot at this, and hope that at some point, you’ll stop feeling like you’re settling.”

 

Her lower jaw started trembling in that tell-tale way.

 

“And even though whenever it started getting too stifling for you, you always found reasons to let go of my hand when we walk, or you found something more interesting to look at to the side when I lean in to kiss you, it was fine with me. I’m only plan B, so it’s normal that you’d feel this way. Fool that I am, I always thought that even if being with me is not what you really want, still it wasn’t all that unpleasant an experience for you.”

 

“Stop it, Daiki,” she sobbed out, her speech blubbery as tears streamed down her eyes. She couldn’t bear to hear any of this anymore.

 

He ignored her and sadistically kept going.

 

“I never thought that we’d arrive at a point where being my girlfriend will end up being such a torture for you—like some tedious chore you’re tired of having to deal with.”

 

“ _Stop it_ ,” she wailed out, grabbing a fistful of his Touou vest with her shaking fingers.

 

“If being with me became such a fucking _pain_ , Satsuki, all you had to do was come and say so to my face, and I’d free you of this mundane settlement that’s causing you so much anguish.”

 

He was yelling atop his lungs, voice accusatory and expression bitter. She was crying and pounding her other fist against his chest when he refused to heed her plea and just _stop saying those things_.

 

“ _Stop, Daiki, just STOP ALREADY_!”

 

“Why the _fuck_ are _you_ crying…? I’m the one who wants to cry here…” he croaked out at last, having run out of steam.

 

Only then, when he placed a hand to her shoulder to try to pry her off his shirt, did she notice that he was shaking, too.

 

Her tears were a manifestation of three weeks’ worth of frustration and anxiety. She couldn’t stop them even if she tried.

 

Worse still, it had to come to this conversation for her to realize what she was putting Daiki through all along.

 

The truth was that after all was said and done, regardless of what kind of relationship they were in, Daiki was her closest friend—her best friend. There wasn’t another person in the world she was closer to than him. She could tell him anything. Whenever she felt sad, angry or excited, she always went to him. She didn’t need to pretend to be anything she wasn’t when she was with him. She could be as annoying as she wanted, because she could always count on him returning the favour afterwards.

 

But what was more important, she could _always count on him_. Because that’s what it was like between them.

 

And those past couple of weeks made her realize just how profoundly the foundations of her little world shook as soon as that bond was interfered with.

 

Of course she still disliked the thought of being handled like a possession. But when presented with the crisis of this kind of conversation, that kind of petty issue somehow paled in comparison.

 

She had never known that he had felt like this all along…

 

“I’m crying because you’re wrong!” she managed between sobs, making him roll his eyes at her claim.

 

“Like _fuck_ I am…”

 

“You _are_ wrong, you’re completely wrong!” she insisted, as though repeating it would make it any truer in his ears. “It may have _started_ that way, but that’s not how it is anymore!”

 

When he shook his head and attempted to get away from her, she held on even tighter to him, her fingers digging into the fabric of his clothes as though her life depended on it.

 

And, she guessed, in a sense, a very important part of her life did depend on clearing this up with him.

 

“Daiki, please listen to me,” she said cajolingly, grabbing him by both sides of his head and steering his gaze so that he could look into her tear-swollen eyes. “You’re right that it did begin that way—I still had lingering feelings for Tetsu when you and I started dating. But all of those quickly disappeared the more time we spent together. Yes, it would be a lie if I were to say right now that I don’t even think of Tetsu anymore, but I don’t have the same feelings I did for him anymore. So please don’t say hurtful things like ‘plan B’ and ‘settling for less’ because that’s not what this is—that’s _never_ what this was.”

 

He didn’t seem convinced, so she pressed on, clutching to the sides of his face even tighter.

 

“I didn’t get so mad over the possessiveness thing because I was looking for an easy way to break up with you. I don’t want to break up with you! That’s the last thing I want to do. The past few weeks made me realize that even if we end up pissing each other off most of the time, it doesn’t feel right when you’re not around. The world feels bleak if you’re not there to make quips about it.”

 

Finally, he stopped struggling against her hold, deciding to shift his vacant gaze to their feet instead. She took this as an invitation to ease her hold on him a bit, cradling his cheeks now, no longer clutching at him.

 

“I’m really sorry for making you feel this way. There aren’t enough words to properly express how deeply, truly sorry I am, from the bottom of my heart, that my behaviour put such hurtful thoughts in your head. It was never my intention to make you suffer so much.”

 

It was all she could do to keep herself from being reduced to tears again when he slowly lifted his cerulean gaze to hers, tentatively searching her expression. He looked like a skittish forest animal making uncertain steps into unfamiliar land.

 

“If you weren’t just looking for an excuse to break it off with me, why were you so hung up on that argument?”

 

She rolled her eyes, a small laugh bubbling at her lips as she wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.

 

“Because, Dai-chan, the possessiveness thing doesn’t suit you.”

 

“What?” he retorted intelligently, completely lost.

 

“Acting as though they own their women is something morons do. It doesn’t suit you, because you don’t need to pull off something as stupid as that to assert anything—we’re already dating, I am your girl, and I’d never even think of cheating on you, so what’s the point of feeling like you need to mediate any and every conversation and glance that I exchange with other guys?”

 

Daiki blinked dumbly at her explanation, his brow furrowing afterwards.

 

“But I do have something to assert.” She quirked her brow at that, silently urging him to elaborate. “We’re dating in name only—nothing of yours is mine: not your heart, not your body, not your soul. I have a hold on nothing of yours.”

 

She had to stare at his completely serious expression for a good minute and more before she finally managed to wrap her mind around what exactly he was saying.

 

When she did, her face flushed bright red with colour.

 

“W-w-what the hell are you saying, idiot?! Do you even know?” she stuttered out, letting go of his sides and retracting her hands back to her body.

 

Her reaction only solidified his misconception.

 

“Of course I know. Whenever I get too frisky, you always come up with an excuse to get away from me. You avoid me for an eternity, until you can finally go back to acting like nothing ever happened. How the hell else am I supposed to take that?”

 

Oh, by the merciful gods above, she would’ve never thought that she would have to explain herself like _this_ to him about _that_.

 

“Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I was just embarrassed?”

 

The flat-out “No,” that he gave her as a response came back so fast and without any pause that she ended up staring incredulously at him for a full minute before tilting her head to the side.

 

“How can you say something so stupid like ‘you have no hold over anything of mine’? That’s even more ridiculous than your ‘plan B’ theory…” she mumbled to herself while he stared at her in quiet nonplus.

 

As she mulled over his earlier admission, Satsuki sighed. How was it possible for someone who was this close to her, spending almost every waking moment with her, to have such a wrong impression of the way she regarded him?

 

She took a deep, calming breath, willing her cheeks to return to a more normal colour, before turning to look at Daiki, who was observing her curiously the entire time.

 

The truth was that every single step forward in their relationship was instigated by him. Every display of intimacy, every gesture, was always started from him to her. And he was right in the fact that whenever their kisses started getting too passionate, she always found a reason to put some distance between them. It was true that sometimes she had difficulties looking at him in the eye, and even a simple contact like holding hands was next to impossible for her.

 

But that wasn’t because she disliked him, or disliked the contact.

 

Quite the contrary in fact—it was _because_ she enjoyed it—too much—that she felt the overwhelming urge to put some distance between them. Being close to him when her skin started crawling with excitement made her think of things she wasn’t used to, imagining scenarios she was too embarrassed to even vocalize, stirring needs that she couldn’t bring herself to tell him about.

 

So instead of saying anything, she took hold of his shirt again, leaning in until she closed the distance between their lips.

 

The action caught him completely by surprise. His eyes widened in incredulousness before he could allow himself to return the kiss.

 

When they parted, she looked up at him through her thick eyelashes, batting them prettily as her breath fanned against his lips.

 

“Never say nonsense like that again, you hear?” she said breathily, her mouth ghosting over his again. “I wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t want you, stupid…”

 

The confession was so quiet, barely a whisper, that if he hadn’t been paying attention, he may have missed it.

 

But the brilliant grin that split his face in the next moment told her that he definitely heard her—making her turn a whole new shade of red, right up to the tips of her ears.

 

Before she could say anything else, he captured her lips in another kiss—one of those that left her a breathless and panting mess, itching for something more she couldn’t yet place.

 

When they parted for air, and she saw that grin still on his face, she pushed against his shoulder playfully.

 

“If I promise that everything of mine is yours as well, will you promise me not to act like a moron when other people of the male persuasion are around me?” she asked him in all seriousness while she laced their fingers together.

 

He made a show of giving her offer careful consideration.

 

“That depends,” he allowed at last with a thoughtful frown.

 

“On?” she prompted, curious.

 

“On what exactly you mean when you say ‘everything’,” he told her easily with a wolfish grin, earning himself a smack to the chest from her free hand.

 

“You’re so simple-minded…” she said in an almost lamenting tone.

 

“You have _no idea_ ,” he whispered huskily against her skin while he lowered his head to plant his lips on her neck.

 

“I’m looking forward to finding out,” she rasped out as he lavished the column of her throat with kisses.

 

Before he could get any further and get any more ideas, she gently pried him away from herself—quite a feat when he was rather bent on keeping her close—just in time for them to hear the school bell ring.

 

“But not when we’re still at school,” she added smartly, giving him her most saccharine smile.

 

“Buzzkill,” he grumbled irately while letting go of her to rub the back of his head lazily.

 

Just as he was rounding the corner of the stairs, she caught a glimpse of the small smile still playing on his lips.

 

It was a smile that betrayed the calmness and relief that overwhelmed him, after three excruciating weeks of constant stress.

 

She couldn’t help reciprocating the expression, reminding herself never to let any more miscommunications between them continue any longer than their usual three to five days.


End file.
